Coffee or Tea, Sir?

No Sir,  I can not make you a Tall, Non-fat latte with caramel drizzle or a Grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla mocha with soy milk.

Perhaps it is my approachable demeanour, Dam my Colgate teeth whitening kit! I will put it down to one thing only, challenged accepted.

When you become a flight attendant you get all sorts of strange, confusing and somewhat artistic orders. Some days you want to cry and drown yourself in their decaf – none-fat frappuccino with almond milk. Other days you want to get high and drink a shot of black coffee over and over again.

My point is, when we ask you… COFFEE or TEA? Please don’t be obnoxious and just tell me either one or the other. Life is already to complicated, especially when working the back galley. Do you realise how many meals I am cooking? Do you realise how many complaints I am setting my self up for because I know we are short of chicken already? So I beg you, don’t make life complicated.


Lookie here, I am a lover of all coffee. I live that shit, breath that shit, admire that shit.. sometimes I shit that shit. But let’s be honest, don’t think for one second you are the god of sky’s and entitled to some fancy ass cuppa. Not even in business class do we make those exception, I mean we can try.. but we don’t got no caramel syrup, fool! By all means, if you bring your own goods on board I’ll happily make you the best god dam request ever.

I’m just preaching what I put down here guys.

I use to work in a cafe and I make that shit look real good!

Dammit, you ask me for a challenge on board you’re welcome to my house any day of the week and ill prove my coffee-making skills to you. When in the sky, I only got what I got, so please be kind to me.

Don’t order a tea and then throw it back at me? Do you know how long it takes for dry cleaning to come back? Some of us do back to back flying, so nobody got time for that! There is one order I am always amused with, green tea with milk? I shall not question your motivates and you seem like the kind of person I would like to understand and maybe be your friend.


I am guilty of this!

Lock me up in coffee prison. Before I was a flyer I was really sassy and would request things knowing they wouldn’t deliver. Like my mumma always says, If shall not ask, shall not receive.

This article is not me trying to sound ungrateful, judgemental, angry or make you feel bad about yourself. I just want you, the people, to help me help you.

We have excellent coffee on board, wonderful tea on board, milk is also included. So if you get asked the question.. Coffee or Tea?

What will it be? 



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